About

I would like to share with you the Spiritual awakening that I have experienced in my life.

 I hope it is of help and encouragement to you. To explain what changed I now take you back to the time when I was much younger… 

I was 17 when I first trusted in Jesus for my salvation so it was still in my formative years. I grew up going to church and to all who knew me I was a “good” boy and tried as best I could to be good – at least in front of others! I would pray regularly, I went to church each week and I didn’t swear.

Despite this, I feared dying and would pray, at certain times, that God would forgive my sins. I was so scared of going to Hell on the basis I had committed a “mortal” sin. Sin bothered me a lot. It seemed, the older I got the more I wanted things I could not have; the more I boasted of what I’d done; the more rude and stubborn I was becoming. I really felt like my life was on a balance scales with my good on one side for all to see and my bad mounting up on the other side, hidden by keeping up a good appearance. But I knew the scale was tipping and it concerned me. I wanted to think I was good enough for Heaven but still I was uneasy. How could I know that for sure?

In addition to my internal struggles many other things were putting pressure on me. I was in my final year of school, my parents had just separated and I was hurting and feeling a little lost. I was looking for answers and not sure which direction to take.

One day I met up with my neighbour’s brother, a drug addict who had recently had a dramatic conversion. He shared his new faith with me gently but with such a genuine concern for me that I was drawn to know more and reminded of my fears. He was very frank and seemed to know the Bible well. He spoke into the very concern I had but left me more desperate than before as he shared from the Bible how “men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil … and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.” As he spoke and those deep loving eyes penetrated me I actually felt exposed. And yet I was relieved and drawn, like it says “perfect love casts out fear.”

During the next week I was given a school English assignment to interview someone and compile it into a short essay. So I asked this guy Les if he would share his story. The interview was going well but suddenly our conversation took a turn and got back onto me. The question was asked whether, if I died tonight, I would go to Heaven? I could not say for sure; I only hoped so. Then it was explained to me that Jesus died to bring us to God; we cannot save ourselves. Just one sin is enough to separate us from God forever and nothing we do can ever pay for that. The only payment is death and this is why Jesus offered His life in our place on the cross.

Now I’m sure I must have heard this before but somehow it was as if the clouds had just separated to reveal a glorious beam of light pouring into my soul. It was so strange and it seemed so simple to understand. I fell to my knees and was led in a short prayer to make my salvation secure – I was filled with joy. I felt like the religious man, Nicodemus, in the Bible, who came to Jesus at night and was told that unless he was born again he could not see the kingdom of God.

On making this step of faith to trust Jesus with my sin I was quite confused at first as I had many doubts as to whether anything had changed in my life. But I began reading the Bible and I was surprised to find that it had come alive. Every day I read words that were now so real and lifegiving. I wrote out many scriptures and placed them around my room. I had found peace with God. I no longer feared the penalty of sin as I now read and understood my salvation. I no longer felt like rebelling but wanted to do good from my heart. I still struggled at times but it was different now. I felt secure in Christ.

As I shared this experience with others I also realised that many did not have this same reality within their hearts nor did they want this. It shocked me to realise God’s grace shown to me.

I was so glad that God sought me out in my time of need and gave me a secure base for my life. I have struggled at times to understand God’s love for me but what really convinced me was the care and embrace I found when I met with other Christians who never gave up on me and loved me as though I was part of their family.

If you were to consider your own life how do you think you would measure up? None of us are good enough to earn our way to God “for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” but Jesus paid the price to bring us back into relationship with God.

I invite you to place your trust in Jesus also. He is faithful and will not disappoint you.

Blessings,

Ben